Movie Junk Theatre

Tales From the Cryptkeeper

2008-02-03T09:01:00.000-08:00

After the ginormous success of the "Tales from the Crypt" TV series, it was decided that there should be an animated spin-off to further cash in. This opened the floodgate for even more Crypt merchandise, included toys and action figures marketed to seven year olds. After two seasons of episodes, the show vanished from the schedule. It resurfaced on another network a few years later, but these "New Tales From the Cryptkeeper" were considerably dumbed down when compared to previous seasons. Here's a bunch of episodes from season 1 & 2...

WHILE THE CAT'S AWAY

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NATURE:

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THE CAVEMAN:

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FARE TONIGHT:

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THE GORILLA'S PAW

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THIS WRAPS IT UP:

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THE BROTHERS GRUFF:

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GROWING PAINS:

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CHUCK (AND MELVIN) AND THE BEANSTALKER:

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TRANSYLVANIA EXPRESS

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Blue Money

2007-12-20T01:28:00.000-08:00

In 1982, Tim Curry starred in this made for British TV caper comedy about a cabbie/aspiring entertainer who lucks into a suitcase full of cash. It isn't long before the people who lost it are hot on his trail. Here's the rare trailer:

The film co-stars Billy Connolly, and Richard Hartley ("The Rocky Horror Picture Show") provided the music. In addition to many other songs, Curry sings "Rip It Up," which was the song he originally auditioned for the RHPS stage play with, and during one scene, a party guest is dressed as Dr. Frankenfurter. Without further adieu, here's the film:

Puff the Magic Dragon

2007-09-11T07:57:00.000-07:00

Back in the '60s, Peter, Paul and Mary popularized the song "Puff the Magic Dragon" -- a song which instantly came under scrutiny for being about marijuana. Whether or not that was the songwriter's intent has never been proven. But the song became an anthem for children and inspired the 1969 TV series "HR Pufnstuf." Then in 1978, PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON himself finally hit TV screens, voiced by Burgess Meredith in a TV special. This opened the door for two more specials (PUFF AND THE AMAZING MR. NOBODY & PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON IN THE LAND OF LIVING LIES). The three specials aired on TV frequently from the '70s-'90s and then fell into obscurity. Such a shame -- the children of today could benefit from the morals taught by specials such as this. And it's nice nostalgia for the rest of us.

Anyway, here's the first special, which is more closely derived from the song than the other two...

Help!

2007-09-11T07:37:00.000-07:00

I question if this one's really in public domain as claimed elsewhere, but it's currently not available on DVD -- and I don't think it ever has been released on DVD in the USA. Although A HARD DAY'S NIGHT has been critically acclaimed and is considered the definitive Beatles film, I could never get into it. HELP!, on the other hand, is so engagingly off-the-wall that it was one of my favorite films when I was a kid.

Ringo Starr gets a ring from a fan, which turns out to be a ring worn by a person who's to be sacrificed by a loony cult. Now the cult's after Ringo, who can't get the ring off of his hand, so the Beatles travel to the ends of the earth to escape!

Bring Me the Head of Charlie Brown!

2007-09-11T06:44:00.000-07:00

If you have an off-kilter sense of humor, check out this trailer for the lost Charlie Brown special! The Great Pumpkin puts a bounty on Chuck's head, so... you have to see it to believe it.

WARNING: This video contains graphic violence and sexual innuendo and is suggested for (im)mature audiences.

The Cobweb Hotel

2007-09-11T04:33:00.000-07:00

I like old Fleischer cartoons. Growing up, it was hard to miss this stuff on TV. But my favorite short has to be the creepy 1936 masterpiece "Cobweb Hotel." Two flies who are on their honeymoon check into the hotel, but the spider who runs the place tries to ensure that they won't check out!

EZ Pop Popcorn

2007-09-11T04:23:00.000-07:00

Commercials from the '50s, '60s and '70s often had a high entertainment value that was lost by the '80s. Not that there weren't bad commercials back then, just a lower ratio. Check out this animated '60s popcorn commercial that features an infectiously goofy song...

Freaks

2007-09-11T04:06:00.000-07:00

FREAKS is the tale of performers in a circus sideshow, most notably the gargantuan trapeze artist (Olga Baclanova) who marries a midget (Harry Earles) for his money. What makes this legendary is that the people in the film were genuine carnival attractions.

This one's fascinating, though the backstory is probably more interesting than the film itself. Tod Browning's FREAKS was first released in 1932 and was promptly banned in many countries and regions. The original print is alleged to have been 90 minutes, but it was drastically truncated due to intense audience reaction -- most notably, the footage revealing the fate of Cleopatra and Hercules is reputed to have disturbed the original audiences. Sadly, most of this footage remains lost. There's a ton of trivia and information about the film at The Internet Movie Database and the Olga Baclanova fan site, the latter of which has "Spurs," the short story on which the film was based.

What About Drinking?

2007-09-11T03:46:00.000-07:00

A bunch of teens are gathered together when they get a phone call alerting them that Bob and Ted were (possibly) drinking when they ran down a pedestrian! Sally instantly jumps the gun and denounces alcohol, then the teens decide to have a calm discussion about liquor. I love these unintentionally hilarious films....

"Drinking's just about the worst thing you can do!"

What About Prejudice?

2007-09-11T03:45:00.000-07:00

Nobody likes Bruce, until he saves some girls who were in a car crash -- then everyone's attitude about the boy changes. Bruce is never seen in full (probably a wise choice), but we're led to believe that the teens in this 1959 film have ostracized him because he's black... This one's still cornball, but it has a good message.

Guiness Commercial

2007-09-11T03:33:00.000-07:00

I didn't initially plan to put commercials on here, but this one's pretty cool. Video sites have named it "stop motion hand tricks;" it reminds me of something one would've seen on "Sesame Street" or "The Electric Company."

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The Cube

2007-09-10T12:46:00.000-07:00

If you like 'em odd, then this one's for you! Before Jim Henson devoted all of his energy to his puppets, he made this bizarre little film which aired one time on NBC's anthology series "Experiments in Television." And experimental it is! Richard Schaal ("Phyllis," ONCE BITTEN) awakens in a cube-like room with no recollection of how he got there. Over the course of the next hour, a slew of weirdos drift in and out of his cube, but he's not allowed to leave because he doesn't have a door of his own. Part comedy, part drama, part social statement -- all weird -- THE CUBE remains a beloved curio. If you happen to see a copy of this online in color (a color print was recently unearthed), please let me know!

"You'll never get out 'til you're dead!"

Carnival of Souls

2007-09-10T12:29:00.000-07:00

In recent years, CARNIVAL OF SOULS has slowly gotten some of the recognition that it deserves. Made by educational filmmaker Herk Harvey, the film had an incredibly low budget but they made good use of every penny. Sadly, Harvey lost his shirt on it when the distributor basically stole the movie and he never made another feature film. There are lots of anomalies (Harvey said he wished he'd polished the film -- fixed the editing and dubbing in places) but that sort of adds to the charm. It's become quite well known that the film inspired George Romero's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, and some of the visuals are truly haunting. Matter of fact, this is one of the few films that I first saw as an adult that creeped me out. Avoid the remake, which is pretty awful and barely resembles this classic.

Mary Henry barely escapes an automobile accident on her way to start a new life, and she she soon finds herself being terrorized by a ghostly apparition...

One Step Beyond

2007-09-10T12:09:00.001-07:00

Just as "The Twilight Zone" hit, so did "One Step Beyond," a weekly anthology series hosted by John Newland that was devoted to the paranormal. The gimmick for this series is that all of the stories were rooted in fact.

The show's in public domain and there's a ton of episodes available online, but here's two of my favorites. First up is "The Dead Part of the House." A family moves into a house and quickly the young girl makes friends with Jennifer, Rose and Mary, her new dolls -- or are they really three ghosts who occupy the nursery?

Next we have "The Dark Room." Cloris Leachman is a photographer who's haunted by a menacing man...

The Head

2007-09-10T11:28:00.000-07:00

In the mid-90s, MTV premiered "MTV's Oddities," which showcased two shows, "The Head" and "The Maxx." The two series were radically different and each developed something of a cult following (though "The Maxx" already had a following, since it was based on a comic book).

"The Head" was the story of trade-school student Jim, who awakens one morning with a massive cranium that's now home to Roy, a small purple alien who's taken up residence as he plots to overthrow the evil Gork. Here's the second season opener, a sort of recap of the first season action, "The Pasquale Mendosa Show"

The Head 2-1 Pasquale Mendoza
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LSD-25

2007-09-10T10:24:00.001-07:00

I have a soft spot for those horrible, dated educational films that they used to show us on the massive film projectors at school. Yes, I'm 3000 years old. Anyway, one of my favorites is LSD-25. Narrated by LSD (!), the film documents the dangers of taking the drug. If the makers of this movie weren't taking LSD themselves, they were at least smoking something stronger than cigarettes...

"Today you're just high, tomorrow you're dead!"

A Political Cartoon

2007-09-10T10:17:00.000-07:00

Here's one of my all-time favorite obscure movies. A POLITICAL CARTOON is a short about a cartoonist and a campaign manager who create a cartoon character, Peter President, who's elected President of the United States. Although the film is very much dated to the early '70s, the satire still rings true. This 20-some minute short features a cameo by Bugs Bunny.

"Try new Bubonics, pills, cream or spray!"

The Legend of Lizzie Bordon

2007-09-10T09:53:00.001-07:00

In the '70s, Elizabeth Montgomery tried to shed her "Bewitched" image by taking roles in a number of high-rated TV movies. One of the first was "The Victim" (aka "Out of Contention"), a plodding little thriller where she was the unknowing prey for a psycho killer. By the late '70s, she turned from victim to psycho, taking the lead role in THE LEGEND OF LIZZIE BORDEN. Starring as the infamous axe-wielding murderess, the film takes huge liberties to document the events that occurred on August 4, 1892. Borden was never convicted of killing her father and step-mother, but the people behind this film certainly thought she was guilty.

"If I were not a lady, I should twist your arm, Mrs. Borden... right out of its socket!"

The Harrad Experiment

2007-09-10T09:53:00.000-07:00

One of the most scandalous novels of the '60s -- which is pretty tame by today's standards -- was Robert H. Rimmer's "The Harrad Experiment." (And no, that's not a pen name!) Released during the height of the sexual revolution, it told of a co-ed college where students were encouraged to have sex and to question monogamy. The novel was a best-seller and a movie followed a few years later. As is always the case, the film was a little watered down by comparison... though still pretty scandalous for the time when it was made.

James Whitmore and Tippi Hedron star as a married couple who run Harrad College, and a very young Don Johnson and Bruno Kirby are amongst the students. Also seen in bit roles are Gregory Harrison and Hedron's daughter, Melanie Griffith, as well as Ted Cassidy, who's best remembered for playing Lurch in "The Addams Family" TV series.

Here's the uncut version of the film, which is in public domain but is rarely seen uncut these days -- most prints that are currently in circulation are heavily edited. WARNING: this film is rated R, contains adult themes and (infamous) nudity... (You can download a divx file of this right here)

The Sadist

2007-09-10T09:40:00.000-07:00

If you've heard the name Arch Hall, Jr., chances are you know him from such delightful z-movie trash as EEGAH! and WILD GUITAR, both of which were vehicles to display his singing talents. One of the few films that he made where he didn't sing was THE SADIST, a wonderful overlooked b-movie gem where he stars as Charlie Tibbs (who's based on thrill killer Charles Starkweather).

The film plays out in real time, and features a trio of teachers who are taken hostage by lunatic Charlie in a junkyard. Once you get past the laughable intro and plodding first ten minutes, the film sucks you in. One of the most noted things about the film is the cinematography by Vilmos Zsigmond (Deliverance, The Deer Hunter, Close Encounters of the Third Kind) in his first American film. So without further adieu...

Recycle This! Rock 'n' Roll & Recycling

2007-09-10T09:35:00.000-07:00

If you were in school in the early '90s, there's a chance that you might have caught this goofy musical sketch-comedy educational film about Recycling. With spoofs ("Back to the Future," "SNL," "Jeopardy," etc.), catchy songs and pop-culture references galore, this forgotten classic is a real gem! "We Didn't Start the Landfills" (a spoof of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire") plays on a neverending loop in my brain... And yes, I recycle!

"Thank God for the garbage man!"

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The 5 Mrs. Buchanans

2007-09-10T09:06:00.000-07:00

You know those TV shows that fall through the cracks -- the ones that should be huge hits but aren't? "The 5 Mrs. Buchanans" was one of them. Definitely a contender for the title "Brilliant But Canceled." Co-created by Marc Cherry, who went on to create "Desperate Housewives," the sitcom centered on four sisters-in-law ("Designing Women"'s Judith Ivy, "NYPD Blue"'s Charlotte Ross, "Frasier"'s Harriet Sansom-Harris and "Sabrina the Teenage Witch"'s Beth Broderick) who had to deal with a tyrannical mother-in-law (Eileen Heckart, "The Bad Seed," "Butterflies Are Free"). The network dumped it on Saturday nights in 1994, then quite unceremoniously canceled it in early '95. Sadly, each episode kept getting better and better. Here's about half of the episodes....

"Isn't this your cue to say 'curses, foiled again?'"
#1 "Pilot"
Bree joins the Buchanan clan:

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#2 "The Other Woman"
Newlywed Bree suspects that husband Jesse is having an affair:

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#3 "Clyde and Vivian and Ed and Malice"
Mother Buchanan catches Vivian with another man:

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#4 "A Ring of Truth"
Bree discovers her wedding ring is not a real diamond:

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#7 "Alex Then and Now"
Alex reunites with former friends on a talk-show and discovers that their lives are more exciting than her own:

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#9 "Five Buchanans and a Baby"
Delilah is going to have a baby... one way or another:

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#15 "Becoming a Buchanan"
Before a family photo, each of the sisters-in-law reveal how they became wives of the Buchanan brothers:

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#17 "Never On the Road Again"
The Buchanan ladies attend the funeral of a relative (the last episode that was filmed, and possibly the funniest episode):

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